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Archive for January, 2009

There is another Skywalker.

And by “Skywalker,” of course, I mean, “smoking hot Spanish tennis player.”  Did you know this?  I did not know this.

Fernando Skywalker...I mean...I'm a dork...

Fernando Skywalker...I mean...I'm a dork...

Pretty hot, right?  But I didn’t really notice until he knocked off Andy Murray.  Not being the anglophile that Dottie is, I think Andy Murray is kind of a shit and a whiner, and his cute status was seriously in question from the get-go.  So go Fernando Verdasco, for knocking off stupid Andy Murray.  And for having a name that’s fun to say.  And for being hot.  And for being a tennis player from Spain who is not Rafael Nadal.  That’s gotta be rough.

Also, I think it should be noted that most images on the first page of Google hits picture Fernando shirtless (and in one, actually naked), but Not the Swimsuit Issue chooses to display an image of him completely clothed.  After all, we’re, you know, not the swimsuit issue.

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Also, the internet is mocking me.  What photos exist are misleading or obfuscatory.  He still wears a headband when he plays.

The best I have is this one, from the Atlético website:

Seriously, this man is super cute, I promise.

Seriously, this man is super cute, I promise.

Aside from his looking more than a little like a serial killer, the hair is definitely shorter than it was.  And darker.  Now, I’m willing to ascribe the color to its being January, but everyone else will laugh at my naïveté, so whatever.  But, Diego?  Buy a towel!  I need to know what your hair looks like when you’ve combed it!

Also, he hasn’t scored a goal since the haircut.  Coincidence?

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I have now watched them play in the NFC Championship on my birthday twice, and they have lost both times.  (Sorry, I as yet have no photographic confirmation of Diego’s haircut.  Rest assured I will let you know as soon as I do.)

This is the worst birthday present.  It was even worse this time because they could and should have won that game.  It’s the Arizona Cardinals, guys.  Kurt Warner is nine hundred years old.  I know he shaved his beard, so his extreme age was slightly less obtrusive, but come onThey won the worst division ever.  You beat the Giants, who I was pretty sure were the only actually good team in the league.  Thanks for nothing.

Also, I have a David Akers jersey.  I bought it some years ago, when he was still a world-beating  place-kicker.  He is no longer, but that’s okay; I see people wearing Dawkins jerseys (and, yes, fine, he’s still good, but he has lost a step….or five).  I like kickers, and I like Akers, and, quite frankly, the Eagles owe him a lot.

But.  He beat Gary Anderson’s streak of consecutive post-season field goals last week.  And I knew (and I said this before the game) that he was going to shank one.  Now, I thought it would be in the final seconds of the game, just as Anderson’s was.  Kit pointed out that it wasn’t going to be that close, and she was right.  They lost by seven, and the shanked field goal and missed PAT were, largely, irrelevant.

However, it was really some great puke icing on the garbage birthday cake.  Woo.  Hoo.

(Aussie Open Aussie Open Aussie Open)

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Details to follow…

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Probably the least cute cricketer I've put up yet.

Probably the least cute cricketer I've put up yet.

First off, he’s not even cute.

I don’t know who would be a better choice, frankly.  Many have been tried, and few of the remainder are qualified or old enough.  I’m not suggesting Colly as Test captain.  Even I am not that blindly loyal.

But it just goes to show something incredible about the dysfunctionality of England cricket that their new choice for Test captain was not even selected in the one-day squad for this tour.  Whoops.

My real issue here is, however, that Straussy is not very exciting.  His batting has lately been non-descript, and we have no reason to believe it will improve with his assumption of the captaincy.  This is in stark contrast to his immediate predecessor, whose average rose during his tenure as captain.

Look, Kevin Pietersen is not my favorite cricketer.  I think he’s cocky and sort of a jackass.  He can, however, bat, and he has a certain élan which is notably lacking in the rest of the squad.  Also?  If he gives you an ultimatum about how it’s either him or the coach, you should do your damnedest not to lose both.  It makes you look like fools, and it vindicates him embarrassingly.  Way to go, the ECB.

I wish Strauss the best and I hope KP won’t let this affect his batting, but I have no great hopes.  At least the upcoming tour is against the West Indies.

Oh, and KP looks like this:

I'm sure it was totally that hilarious.

I'm sure it was totally that hilarious.

I know, I know.  He doesn’t look like a cricketer.  He looks like a contestant on one of the more dubious reality shows.  Well, I can’t help that.  He can bat like a maniac.

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This post was meant to go up directly after the MVP came out, but I was over-taken by events, chiefly in the person of the San Diego Chargers.

On the one hand, Peyton Manning is clearly awesome.  Three MVP awards is nothing to sneeze at.  Also they were all totally deserved.  Knees?  Who needs ’em?  Tom Brady is a wuss.

On the other, dear Lord in heaven what do I have to do to make the Colts have a defense?  Do I have to sacrifice a chicken?  I’ll sacrifice a chicken.

I really wish he had to make this face less often.

I really wish he had to make this face less often.

In conclusion?  He is still awesome.  Step off.

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