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Archive for May, 2009

Unless you are actually deceased.

Making Novak Djokovic feel like the healthy, not lame person is the wrong decision.  You don’t have to mouth off to the press about how he’s a wuss (not that I minded when Andy Roddick did it, actually, but if you’re going to do that, Mr. Roddick, you have to beat him), and you don’t have to win, but just don’t make him feel like the big man.

Also he’s not cute at all.

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Do you remember, when you were a kid, and you were watching baseball, and all you really knew was that you had to run around the bases and that you got three tries to hit the ball?  And you loved it?  And then, eventually, you learned that there were balls as well as strikes and the first two foul balls could be strikes but you couldn’t strike out on a foul tip unless you bunted and there was this thing called the infield fly rule and you could strike out even if you didn’t swing and if you struck out on a wild pitch you could run to first and…

I remember that.

You only need to know a tiny fraction of the rules in order to comprehend the game, and enjoy watching it.  For cricket, all you need to know is that one man is trying to hit the wicket with a ball.  You don’t need to know where silly point is, or third man.  You don’t need to know what a googly looks like.  You don’t need to know what happens if one batsman is using a runner but he takes off from his crease anyway and is run out.

You’ll learn all these things, if you watch enough, just like you learned about fielding shifts and intentional walks and when to tag up.  It’s great, because it’s like being five, all over again.

Also, even cricketers who aren’t Stuart Broad can be cute.  Here, Munaf Patel:

He's so fit because his run-up is a quarter mile long.

He's so fit because his run-up is a quarter mile long.

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Yikes.

Yikes.

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Their current one is:

“Which is the best head-to-head rivalry in sports right now?”

A. Roger Federer-Rafael Nadal

B. Alexander Ovechkin-Sidney Crosby

C. Kobe Bryant-LeBron James

D. Tiger Woods-Phil Mickelson

Did I miss something?  Are ice hockey and basketball not team sports?  (As a note of interest, Kobe-LeBron is far out in front, then Federer-Nadal, followed closely by Ovechkin-Crosby.)  Or, at least, shouldn’t they be?  Do we really want to look at the NBA as a two-man show?

Even if we do, Federer-Nadal is still totally the correct answer, you idiots.

Also, wow, just looked him up, and Sidney Crosby is significantly younger than I am.  So, in honor of that, we’re going to have a poll about him!

Like, twelve.  And Canadian.

Like, twelve. And Canadian.

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