There’s just something about beating…Europe…that doesn’t really make us all that stoked. They’re pretty much on our side, it’s golf, no commies are involved–it’s just not the sort of thing that inspires flag-waving. Sorry.
Your 6-year-old has no capacity to evaluate this situation. I hope. You should not ask him to evaluate this situation. Because that would involve telling him about it. Which is really not appropriate.
I understand the difficulty here: you may not want your child to grow up idolizing Tiger Woods, simply because Mr. Woods is an excellent golfer, because you think that Mr. Woods is a skeezeball. This is awkward, because the details are not the sort of thing you tell your 6-year-old and, moreover, your 6-year-old has no frame of reference for these details.
My suggestion? Prompt him to like a different, more admirable golfer. Also, don’t let him talk to creepy reporters who ask him questions he should not be able to answer.
Look, we all know that golf is one of the last bastions of deliberately hideous clothing. Golf, and my croquet parties. But I digress. I respect golfers who, from mere cussedness, turn up looking deranged. I prefer tartan or at least intelligible patterns, but I’m not really that picky.
If you’re going to wear hideous trousers, can’t you at least have the guts to go the whole hog and make them plus-fours? At least then you can plead authenticity.
Here, I will spare you the clown trousers John Daly wore on the practice round. Seriously, clown trousers.
Over-sized lavender paisley? Seriously? At least steer clear of upholstery fabrics.
On the other hand, Camilo Villegas never looks like an idiot (granted, he would have to try pretty hard), and his panther impression, if profoundly weird, is also probably awesome.
“Which is the best head-to-head rivalry in sports right now?”
A. Roger Federer-Rafael Nadal
B. Alexander Ovechkin-Sidney Crosby
C. Kobe Bryant-LeBron James
D. Tiger Woods-Phil Mickelson
Did I miss something? Are ice hockey and basketball not team sports? (As a note of interest, Kobe-LeBron is far out in front, then Federer-Nadal, followed closely by Ovechkin-Crosby.) Or, at least, shouldn’t they be? Do we really want to look at the NBA as a two-man show?
Even if we do, Federer-Nadal is still totally the correct answer, you idiots.
Also, wow, just looked him up, and Sidney Crosby is significantly younger than I am. So, in honor of that, we’re going to have a poll about him!