Posts Tagged ‘golf’

There’s just something about beating…Europe…that doesn’t really make us all that stoked.  They’re pretty much on our side, it’s golf, no commies are involved–it’s just not the sort of thing that inspires flag-waving.  Sorry.

Especially because this guy is European:

Luke Donald. Awesome.


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Lines I do not want to see ever in an article on golf:

“[Tiger]’s still my favorite golfer,” the 6-year-old said. “I don’t care what he did.”

So, thanks for that, David Newton.

Your 6-year-old has no capacity to evaluate this situation.  I hope.  You should not ask him to evaluate this situation.  Because that would involve telling him about it.  Which is really not appropriate.

I understand the difficulty here: you may not want your child to grow up idolizing Tiger Woods, simply because Mr. Woods is an excellent golfer, because you think that Mr. Woods is a skeezeball.  This is awkward, because the details are not the sort of thing you tell your 6-year-old and, moreover, your 6-year-old has no frame of reference for these details.

My suggestion?  Prompt him to like a different, more admirable golfer.  Also, don’t let him talk to creepy reporters who ask him questions he should not be able to answer.

Still hot. Still pantheriffic.

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I was watching football this weekend, and talking to a friend who lives in a different city.  During a break for local news, we both heard stories about the Tiger Woods kerfuffle.

Seriously?  Is that the biggest item of national news?  I’m pretty sure there’s a war or two going on somewhere, but I could be wrong.

Mr. Woods crashed his own car on his own property and no one was hurt.  Incidentally, he’s a great golfer.

Wait, no.  Those were the wrong way ’round.

Tiger Woods is a truly great golfer.  Simply astoundingly good.  He made red his own.  It’s a primary color.  Gazillions of people wear it every day.  How did he do this?  By being awesome.

He may have been a minor moron.  Or even a major moron.  Briefly.  If this has any effect on your life, you need to do some serious soul-searching.

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Look, we all know that golf is one of the last bastions of deliberately hideous clothing.  Golf, and my croquet parties.  But I digress.  I respect golfers who, from mere cussedness, turn up looking deranged.  I prefer tartan or at least intelligible patterns, but I’m not really that picky.

If you’re going to wear hideous trousers, can’t you at least have the guts to go the whole hog and make them plus-fours?  At least then you can plead authenticity.

Here, I will spare you the clown trousers John Daly wore on the practice round.  Seriously, clown trousers.

Lavender paisley?  Seriously?

Over-sized lavender paisley? Seriously? At least steer clear of upholstery fabrics.

On the other hand, Camilo Villegas never looks like an idiot (granted, he would have to try pretty hard), and his panther impression, if profoundly weird, is also probably awesome.

I guess it must work.  I'm impressed, anyway.

I guess it must work. I'm impressed, anyway.

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Camilo Villegas. Gosh.

I know zero things about this guy except that he’s hot and plays golf.  Well, and he’s Colombian.

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Their current one is:

“Which is the best head-to-head rivalry in sports right now?”

A. Roger Federer-Rafael Nadal

B. Alexander Ovechkin-Sidney Crosby

C. Kobe Bryant-LeBron James

D. Tiger Woods-Phil Mickelson

Did I miss something?  Are ice hockey and basketball not team sports?  (As a note of interest, Kobe-LeBron is far out in front, then Federer-Nadal, followed closely by Ovechkin-Crosby.)  Or, at least, shouldn’t they be?  Do we really want to look at the NBA as a two-man show?

Even if we do, Federer-Nadal is still totally the correct answer, you idiots.

Also, wow, just looked him up, and Sidney Crosby is significantly younger than I am.  So, in honor of that, we’re going to have a poll about him!

Like, twelve.  And Canadian.

Like, twelve. And Canadian.

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